There are so many emotions and feelings that are running through me today. First off I am in the beginning stages of my sinuses being crazy so I'm sniffing, coughing, and gagging from the snot running down the back of my throat...ugh!
Today was a lighter day as far as tasks but it has been the most heart wrenching. We went to the Fairfax County Police Department to attend a Domestic Violence class. Fairfax county had 7000 domestic violence cases last year. That averages out to 20 calls per day that they received for domestic violence. They have had some of the most lenient laws until about 2-3 years ago when it came to domestic violence. We started off the class by listening to a call from a 16 year old girl who called 911. Her dad was drunk and was beating and kicking her mother. She had two younger siblings that she could not get to and while the 16 year old was on the phone you could hear the mom moaning and screaming while the father continued to beat her. Near the end of the call the father left the house and started driving away as the cops were pulling up and he was arrested. The mother was beaten so bad that she sustained brain damage and some serious physical injuries and to this day she does not remember anything about it.
We heard the personal testimony of a woman who lived in a cycle of abuse. While her dad was away in Vietnam, her mom became ill and they moved in with her grandparents. When she was 5 and her sister 4, their grandfather had sexually assaulted both of them. For years the 5 year old thought it was a dream or just something that she made up and the 4 year old never acknowledged that anything happened. Years later she married a man who was great at first but was verbally abusive and controlling. He would control what she did, what church she went to, even controlled the color and type of underwear she wore. He used coercion and threats, intimidated her, emotionally abused her, isolated her, used the children against her, and treated her like a servant. She finally had enough and left him but it wasn't long before she ended up in another abusive relationship and this one ended up being physically violent as well as emotionally. It took several years for her to get out of this relationship but she continues to live with the emotional scars. She said something very interesting to us, "A person never completely heals from abuse". While she has made great strides and moved on and recognizes this cycle of abuse, the scars are still there and the pain is still real. She has two daughters and just this past year her youngest tried to commit suicide and tyhe investigators said that it was the mostr violent suicide attempt where the victim did not die. She used a drill. It has a lot to do with her father and how he has treated her over the years. Made her feel less then and even called her a loser. She is getting the help she needs with counseling but noone knows what really drove her over the edge.
It was such an emotional day that I am not sure I fully know the impact that this has made in my heart and on my life. But here is what I do know...if you are in a relationship that is physically and/or mentally abusive, that is NOT God's design for marriage and you need to leave. A marriage is a partnership...your spouse is your helpmate...
I am not sure what I would do without the support that I get from Dawn. Aside from God, Dawn is the one that I love the most. I would not be who I am without her in my life....Dawn is my best friend and my best editor. I would not be complete without her and although I may not say it as often as I should, I am absolutely crazy in love with her and I am so glad that God allowed me to have her in my life!
Esperanza!
Pastor Scot
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